Rebecca J. Hubbard

Blog Who You Are Matters

Rebecca J. Hubbard's blog, Who You are Matters, focuses on how people affect each other and how to help children cope with life's challenges.

Sexual Offenders, It’s Who You Know

We want to keep our children safe, but we are putting them in danger by giving them the wrong information. In school and at home, children are taught to be wary of strangers because strangers may snatch you and abuse you.  This is known as stranger danger. Yet, only 5% of children are abused by strangers. 95% are abused by someone they know. Whether that person is a family member or in a position of trust in the child’s life like a teacher, coach, church leader, etc. 

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Silence Is Damaging

At seventeen, I sat on my bed, staring down at the black metal in my hands. The gun felt heavier than usual. I loaded the chamber, knowing that putting a bullet into my head was the wisest choice I could make. The Bible in my Southern Baptist home taught me that God and my parents saw me as an abomination because I was gay. I hated myself! Since God did not remove the “sin” from me after many heartfelt prayers, I thought the only way out was death.

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Would You Want to Work Here? The Attributes of Healthy Systems

Recently, I read an excellent blog, “How to Keep Someone with You Forever” that outlined the components of unhealthy systems (i.e., work environment). As I read, I realized that all the values I cherish could be used as tools against me, values such as loyalty, a strong work ethic, and hope. I reflected on how my values had been used against me in the past, and I wondered how I could protect myself from that happening again. The blog provided an excellent description of what working in an unhealthy system was like but it did not identify what working in a healthy system would be like.

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What "The Emperor's New Clothes" Can Teach Us About Larry Nasser And Ourselves

I wish I could say I was shocked by the revelations of Larry Nasser's behavior. But I can't. After 23 years as a therapist who treats children who have experienced sexual abuse none of it was new. None of it!  What turns my gut is people witnessed inappropriate behavior, or people told about inappropriate behavior by Larry Nasser, yet Larry Nasser like Jerry Sandusky, offended for many more years afterward. Why? What blinds our eyes as a society and helps these offenders hide in plain sight? What causes us to believe them and disbelieve their victims?

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Why is Consent a Big Deal?

This past week the Girl Scouts stirred up some folks with their statement that girls should not have to hug people they do not want to hug. It seems that the responses were split 50-50 agreeing or opposing this statement. What struck me was the arguments the opposition used. Most of the opposition said that the important people in the child’s life, like grandparents, deserve to be hugged, that the child’s feelings did not matter.

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