On this guest blog, Danny Knight helps parents develop a safe, outdoor haven for children on the autism spectrum.
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Recently, I read an excellent blog, “How to Keep Someone with You Forever” that outlined the components of unhealthy systems (i.e., work environment). As I read, I realized that all the values I cherish could be used as tools against me, values such as loyalty, a strong work ethic, and hope. I reflected on how my values had been used against me in the past, and I wondered how I could protect myself from that happening again. The blog provided an excellent description of what working in an unhealthy system was like but it did not identify what working in a healthy system would be like.
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I wish I could say I was shocked by the revelations of Larry Nasser's behavior. But I can't. After 23 years as a therapist who treats children who have experienced sexual abuse none of it was new. None of it! What turns my gut is people witnessed inappropriate behavior, or people told about inappropriate behavior by Larry Nasser, yet Larry Nasser like Jerry Sandusky, offended for many more years afterward. Why? What blinds our eyes as a society and helps these offenders hide in plain sight? What causes us to believe them and disbelieve their victims?
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This past week the Girl Scouts stirred up some folks with their statement that girls should not have to hug people they do not want to hug. It seems that the responses were split 50-50 agreeing or opposing this statement. What struck me was the arguments the opposition used. Most of the opposition said that the important people in the child’s life, like grandparents, deserve to be hugged, that the child’s feelings did not matter.
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In one-week fear rose in our country. We heard it in the adult voices on TV, radio and in the print lining newspapers. But did you realize that fear grew in our children too? Sometimes as adults we forget that they are watching and soaking up everything around them.
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As adults we often think that we shield our children from the realities of the world, but more often than not they are keenly aware. And when we do not talk to them, they are left to their own explanations which usually create more fear.
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